Frontispiece and title page

Yes, this is a real book, and you can read it via Archive.org here. It’s pretty funny.

Here’s an excerpt:

On first beginning to reside here, I confess I felt at times a little lonely and depressed. Therefore I brought home “Bones” to come live with me. And who is “Bones”? Ah! That is exactly what I have never been able to find out. Contemplative, affable, easily pleased, and an admirable listener, he is yet on some point reserved to a degree that might almost be termed morose while in his personal appearance there is a dignity of bearing, an imposing presence, which forbids the most intimate associate to attempt a liberty.

I will describe him as I see him at this moment, reclining in an easy attitude on the cushions of my favorite armchair, benevolently interested, it would seem, in my lightest movements, while I sit smoking silently by the fire. Neither of us are great talkers quite so early in the evening.